My husband Spencer and I have been married for almost 5 years now—but we have been lucky enough to have been together for over 14 years.
Yes, 14 years.
We met when we were 14, and I cannot imagine what life would be like without him. There are so many positives to marrying your high school sweetheart and I have been thinking about it a lot recently, as we will be celebrating his birthday later this month.
I was reflecting on all of the birthdays we have been lucky enough to celebrate together thus far. For us, this is our unique love story and it has had its ups and downs, but I wouldn’t change it for the world and I am thankful for meeting my “one” at such an early age.
There were definitely people who thought we were crazy for thinking we were meant to be together so young, and honestly if Marlie tells me she has met her “one” at the young age of 14— I will probably freak out — but when you know you know.
Our story is not better than anyone’s and there is no one way to know when you have found your “one”, but I think the benefits of our relationship and its uniqueness, can help teach lessons in love for any relationship. Spencer shared this quote with me and I thought it fit nicely here, “Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others.” - Otto von Bismarck.
Here are 5 things that I am thankful for and things that we have learned over the years in our relationship.
1. We have created years of memories
At age 28, we have already been blessed with 14 years of making memories—holidays, awkward school dances, fun trips, the college years, and now creating our own little family together. Not only this, but our siblings grew up together and our families have essential merged into one big extended family. Our families grew to love each other and that is such a great feeling and makes things that much better!
2. We don’t always meet in the middle
We have both had to go through the period of discovering who we are from a young age, what we want in life and we made the decision that we wanted to grow together and not apart. There is so much give and take in a relationship and periods where you give your full support to their goals and aspirations and then vice versa. Sometimes you don’t always meet in the middle and that is okay— as long as it goes both ways :-).
3. It should be easy. It shouldn’t be hard.
For us, we both agreed that our relationship just felt “natural” and we didn’t force it— it just sort of fell into place. Yes, we have had to work on things over the years and have had “hard” times, like in any relationship, but it has never been forced. Communication is key. I will repeat that —Communication is key! If you do not share what you are feeling, want or need, you cannot assume that they will understand these things. (although sometimes I forget this haha). No relationship is perfect— that would just be boring right?
4. We have never stopped dating.
Although our lives are crazy, we make sure that we have time for “date nights” and time where it is just us and no one else. These moments are precious and so important in any relationship. Just because we are married and know each other well, doesn’t mean we stopped doing little things like leaving notes for each other around the house—which we use to do in high school in each others lockers. These are the little things that I appreciate so much because it is part of my love language. Which leads into my last point!
5. Know each others love language
My mom gave us a book back in the day, you may have heard about it or read it already, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts . If you have not read it, you should because you can learn so much about yourself and what love language you speak! Spencer and I both have different love languages and understating this has made our relationship stronger. You may think you are showing someone you love them and care about them, but it may not resonate with them because it is not done in their “love language”.
No matter what stage of life you are in, marry/date the person who you cannot imagine creating memories without. A person who supports you when you are at your lowest lows and at your highest highs. Someone who makes you laugh even when you’re not in the best of moods and someone who understand you and appreciates you for who you are.
Love you, Spencer <3 and Happy (almost) Birthday!
I would love to hear your unique love stories and things you have learned in your relationship that make it work for you guys! Please share them below :-)